


Todd Allison & the Three Elkwood Bears

by houmei



Category: Todd Allison & the Petunia Violet
Genre: Gen, my god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houmei/pseuds/houmei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day, the three Elkwood bears decided to go for a walk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Todd Allison & the Three Elkwood Bears

Once upon a time there lived three bears. They were the Elkwood bears and they lived all by themselves in their quiet, green forest. They lived in a pretty cottage with a leafy wooden roof and a living room window with yellow curtains on it.

There was Elijah bear: the eldest of the three, Meredith bear: the second eldest, and Petunia bear: the youngest. One morning all three bears were seated at the dinner table, ready to dig into their scrumptious porridge that Elijah bear had made with all the love in his heart. However-

"Ouch! My porridge is too hot." Elijah bear blanched.

"Mine is hot too." Meredith bear frowned.

"Oh no, and mine too!" Drooped Petunia bear. Luckily, Elijah bear had a plan.

"Why, let's go for a walk!" He proclaimed, "by the time we return, our porridge will be nice and cool." Meredith bear and Petunia bear wholeheartedly agreed. So one by one they stepped outside and went off to walk in their deep, green forest.

 

—

 

Now someplace else, but not too far off, strayed a young man with pumpkin-colored hair and crisp autumn leaf eyes. Autumn because they were brown. Like leaves.

His name was Todd Allison and was he _ever_ lost. "Fuck." Said poor Todd Allison. "I'm exhausted." He had been walking for an odious amount of time and was beginning to feel tired and hungry. The flowers he was looking for were no where to be found. And worst of all, it was getting cold.

Todd Allison searched high and low for a trail to lead him home, but instead discovered something else. Why, it was a cottage! A cottage with a leafy wooden roof and a living room window with yellow curtains on it. Todd Allison approached the cottage door and knocked thrice.

"Hello?" Todd Allison inquired. "Is anyone home?" Todd Allison shouted. "For God's sakes, please tell me someone is home!" Todd Allison banged. But no one answered him. Todd Allison discovered that the door was unlocked and poked his head in. "Who leaves their door unlocked in this time of day?"

Curious Todd Allison stepped inside and examined everything around him. He suddenly smelled delicious, scrumptious porridge and his tummy began to rumble. He was very hungry. "I suppose it couldn't hurt to sample some of it..."

Todd Allison sat at the table in front of the largest bowl of porridge. He dipped his spoon and tasted it. "Augh! Too bloody hot."

He moved to the second largest bowl and tasted it. "Eugh. Colder than my indifference."

Finally, he moved to the smallest bowl and tasted. "Hm," He tasted it again. "Hmmmmm." And again, and again, and again. Until there was nothing left to taste. "That was alright."

With his belly full, Todd Allison moved to the living room and felt very heavy. He was still so very tired from his walk around the forest. He walked towards the largest chair in the room and sat down. "What the hell?" It was flat and hard under his sensitive bottom. "What an awful chair!"

He sat on the second largest chair and felt himself sink down into the cushions. He felt lumpy- the chair was much too soft. "This simply won't do."

Finally, he sat on the smallest chair and felt like a complete idiot. "This is ridiculous." But before he could stand up, the chair collapsed under him! "Shit! Damn, damn-" He scrambled to try and piece it together, but to no avail. He was so tired.

 

Todd Allison resolved in himself that he'd pay for it later and went down the hall into a large bedroom. There were three beds and he suddenly felt so very, very sleepy. "Just...a quick nap..."

He flopped into the largest bed and immediately sat up. "Ugh, this bed is too hard. And it reeks of cigarettes."

He flopped into the second largest bed and bounced back up. "How is this so soft??"

Finally, a weary Todd Allison flopped into the smallest bed and yawned. "This'll do for now." And then, he drifted into a deep sleep.

 

—

 

A while later, the three Elkwood bears returned from their walk in the forest. Elijah bear was avidly explaining the difference between squirrels and chipmunks when Petunia bear gasped loudly. "Look! Our front door is open!"

Alarmed, the three bears hurried inside and looked around. "Was anything taken?" Meredith bear wondered and jumped when he heard Elijah bear yell from the kitchen table! "My porridge! Someone was eating my porridge!"

Meredith bear shook his head. "Someone was eating my porridge too."

Petunia bear fumed. "Someone was eating my porridge too, and they ate it all!" She was devastated!

They moved to the living room and Elijah bear growled. "Someone sat in my chair."

"Someone sat in my chair too." Meredith bear huffed.

"Someone sat in my chair too..." Petunia bear sniffled. "And it's all broken up!"

They decided to investigate some more and went into the big bedroom. Elijah bear then scoffed with a bane and disgust that only a bear could manage. "Someone slept on my bed!"

Meredith bear spoke with the same distaste in his voice. "Someone slept on my bed too."

Petunia bear walked to her bed and gasped once again! "Someone slept on my bed too, and _he's right there!_ "

Todd Allison woke up with a shout and opened his eyes to see three very angry bears staring right at him!

"Oh my God." Fearful Todd Allison jumped out of the bed and backed into the wall. "Alright, listen, I'm sorry, but I can explain-"

"It's too late for that!!" Petunia Bear roared and swiftly charged Todd Allison to the ground. Todd Allison could not withstand the onslaught of vicious bear growling and small hands punching his face. He screamed and screamed but no one would come to his aid!

"Elijah, we need to stop her! She could get hurt," Meredith bear looked at him. Elijah bear wiped a single tear away. "But look at her, Meredith. She's so majestic...I'm so proud..."

"Dear God, _**somebody help me!!**_ "

 

"Did someone ask for help?" Everyone suddenly stilled and turned around. To their shock, it was none other than the handsome hunter of the forest, Cyril! "Because I thought someone asked for help." He smiled at the ragged Todd Allison.

"How did you get in here?" Meredith bear asked.

"Your front door was unlocked." Cyril the hunter stared. "Who leaves their door unlocked in this time of day?"

While all three bears were distracted, Todd Allison suddenly leaped up and jumped out the window! "Finally!" He ran away from the cottage, deep into the woods and all the way back home. Petunia bear wrung her hands sadly. "Oh, no. I feel terrible now. Did I do the right thing...?"

"You did the right thing." Nodded Cyril the hunter sagely, suddenly there and snaking a reassuring arm along her shoulders. "He was breaking and entering, you know."

"Are you really a hunter?" asked Petunia bear.

"GET OUT," shouted Elijah bear.

 

—

 

And that was that. Yes, you could say Todd Allison learned a very valuable lesson that day. For example, breaking and entering is punishable by law only with the intent to steal, but in Todd Allison's case it's probably at least illegal trespassing which is a misdemeanor crime! Also, don't eat other people's food. It's very impertinent. He would surely never make those mistakes again.

And that, children, was the last time Todd Allison ever went into the Elkwood bear's woods.


End file.
